Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
