I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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