I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
