Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
