why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
