PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
