got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
