Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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