The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
