some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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