oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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