We won't sleep together?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
