so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
