Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
