so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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