Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
