so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
