Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if only i could text you this smell
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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