We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
