I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
