So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
