I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
