Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I licked your asshole in confidence.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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