Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
