So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
