you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
