Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
