nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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