im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
