OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do herpes really smell.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
