Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
