Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
