Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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