love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
