Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
