Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
