Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
