she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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