dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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