My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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