all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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