There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
