I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
