somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didn't shave. On purpose
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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