Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
