he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
