it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
