I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
