check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
