well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
