i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
last night I used snow as a chaser
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
