i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
